Rollercoaster | Calgary Photographer09.28.10

This week started with a photo session where the music requested was the soundtrack to the Sound of Music. I love this movie! My mum and I would spend every Christmas eve watching this movie…I still do…and sing at the top of my lungs (to the rest of the household’s dismay).

After the session, I received an email informing me that one of the recipients of my “Give of Yourself” project had passed the night before. My client wanted me to know that she had witnessed first hand the gift that I had given as she and her friend had looked through the pictures that I had taken for them. I can’t even properly explain the flood of emotions that went through me as I read this… first, my heart goes out to the daughter in this situation. There are not a lot of people (and then at the same time there are too many) that have had to sit by a person’s bedside and watch them pass. I remember feeling so bad and so guilty that I was telling my mum that it was okay to go because I did not want her to be in anymore pain but on the other hand I COULD NOT let her go. She was my person! It is tough to live without a mother and I feel bad that someone else has to experience that.

Another emotion that I felt yesterday was pride (and this may come across wrong and I hope it does not). The pride came from feeling like a bit of my mum was carrying on. My mum was a nurse and an amazing nursing instructor. One of the nurses that came to the house in my mum’s last hours had been taught by my mum, she told me that night what an amazing person and teacher my mum was. This brought me to ask my mum, “How do you do that? How do you make an impression like that? How can I help too?” My mum’s very simple response was “Give of yourself”. This is where my program came from. It took me a little while to figure out what my role in “give of yourself” could be but then I knew. When I started it on the first anniversary of my mum’s passing, it was a way to give back as well as a way to help heal myself. So yesterday there was a bit of pride that I could give someone a gift, even if it is just a little gift to help.

Then another emotion came over me. Anger! And I wish that I was not still angry but I miss my mum and HATE this disease that takes too many people. This brought me to posting “Been reminded as to why we need to kick cancer in the A#$” on Twitter. It is the final week before the CIBC Run for the Cure and I ask you to support someone that you know in this cause. Sadly too many of us are affected by this disease!

I have received a lot of emails over the last few weeks of others’ stories. So as crappy as cancer is, it does bring people together. I am happy to be part of the community that will find a cure for this disease;)

With the rollercoaster of emotions this week, I am happy to add joy of family, friends, health and work (and gorgeous fall weather – my mum’s favourite season) to the mix;).
I promise the rest of the week will be filled with the fall fun that I have had over the past couple of weeks and not me kicking it in frustration.

  1. Sheri-Dawn { Sep 29, 2010 } Reply

    That is so sad to hear but I’m so glad you were able to give of yourself and leave some lasting memories for the family. Lots of hugs. You are a true inspiration.

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